EMINEM CATALOG

I sit in silence in candlelit environments / Sipping Wild Irish while getting violent

All the people up top, on the side and the middle / Come together, let's all form and swarm just a little

Got no time for no haters in this bitch / Or toleration for this shit

They said I can't rap about bein' broke no more / They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more (Ah)

I heard your freestyle on Shade 45, that shit was embarrassing / There is no way we ever air that shit again, I guarantee that

I was born with a dick in my brain, yeah, fucked in the head / My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed

It's the curse of the standard, that the first of the Mathers disc set / Always in search of the verse that I haven’t spit yet

There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme and / Wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'

I walk around like a space cadet, place your bets / Who's likely to become a serial killer? Case of Tourettes

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure / Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders

I just put a bullshit hook in between two long ass verses / If you mistook this for a song, look

Somebody tell Budden before I snap, he better fasten it or have his body bag get zipped / The closest thing he's had to hits is smackin' bitches (Pump it up)

Stuck up in my rectal crack, kiss my disrespectful ass / I'll ride through your cul-de-sac

I can see the finish line with each line that I finish / I'm so close to my goals, I can almost pole vault over the goal post

Don't make me wake this baby, she don't need to see what I'm about to do / Quit crying, bitch! Why you always make me shout at you?

Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner, but I just been busy / You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like / And right now, there's a steel knife in my windpipe

Fast forward, some years later, a teenager, this is fun, sweet / I just got jumped twice in one week, it's complete

Woke up, it was dawn, musta knew somethin' was wrong / Think I'm becomin' a monster 'cause of the drugs that I'm on

"Did you get him?", "Nah, fucker tried to bite my face off / I just got fuckin' chased off with a chainsaw

Aw, naw, big Slim Dogg / Eighty pound balls (What?), dick six-inch long (Mm)

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow / When you swallow it all wallow and drown in your sorrow

(Yeah) So, get your ideas, stack your ammo / But don't come unless you come to battle, now mount up, jump in the saddle

Was just a kid from Detroit who knew how to destroy the booth / And had a point to prove (Yeah), and I'm as (What?)

If you never gave a damn (Ayy), raise your hand / 'Cause I'm about to set trip, vacation plans

Wasn't ready to be no millionaire, I was ill-prepared / I was prepared to be ill though, the skill was there

Now back in the days of old me / (When) Right around the time I became a dope fiend

I'ma have everybody jumpin' to this / Caitlyn Jenner in the front row pumpin' her fists

I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it / So before they throw me inside my coffin and close it, I'ma expose it

I told you one day, I said they'd have that red carpet rolled out, yo / I'm nice, y'all, fuck it, I'm out cold

Don't you know what felch means? (Yeah) Well, then tell me / Would you rather get felched, or do the felching?

Tobey Maguire got bit by a spider, me? Must've got bit by a goat (Yeah) / I used to dream as a kid I would grow (Baa) to be one, I hope that I inspire hope (For what?)

So this year, I'm goin' into the fifth and I'm tall / I'm five foot six on my block, I'm the toughest kid but I got

Knock, knock (Who's there?), boo (Boo who?) / Hey, why you cryin', shorty? Ew, 'cause I boo'd you (Woah)

Mom shaming, dad shaming (Ah), yeah / Fat-shaming (What?), man-splaining, blah (Pfft)

I see the rap game, then attack the verses (Uh) / Turn into a graveyard packed with hearses (Yeah)

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage / Tear this motherfuckin' roof off like two dogs caged

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it (Go, go, go!) / So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it

Always the bridesmaid, never "The bride, hey!" / Fuck can I say? If life was a highway

Always the bridesmaid, never "The bride, hey!" / Fuck can I say? If life was a highway

Haven't used all the tricks I have, so like my balls, I'm in my bag (My bag) / Get a littlе teste when I'm mad (I'm mad), sick of wrеstling this iPad (iPad)

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? / I have, I been protested and demonstrated against

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before / Jaws all on the floor like Pam; like Tommy just burst in the door

My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams / I'm hopin' things look up, but there ain't no job openings

In third grade, all I used to do / Was sniff glue through a tube and play Rubik's Cube

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you're with 'em? / You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope) / Well, I do, so fuck him, and fuck you too

His soul's escaping through this hole that is gaping / This world is mine for the taking, make me king

Entertainment is changin', intertwinin' with gangsters / In the land of the killers, a sinner's mind is a sanctum

Yeah, this whole subgenre with all these corny white rappers, I'm not a fan of it (You suck) / It ain't my fault, but like sock puppets, I had a hand in it

So, how many little kids still wanna act like me? / I'm a bigger prick than cacti be

Outside, I look like I'm calm / Inside, I'm a tickin' time bomb

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy / There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

With balls, in his durag, he sags, fearin' no man / He stands, pen in his hand like Edward Scissorhands

Bounce now, hands up, you know how we do / We make the club jump everywhere we go

Now, I would never diss my own mama just to get recognition / Take a second to listen 'fore you think this record is dissin'

I feel, like when I bend over backwards for you, all you do is laugh / 'Cause that ain't good enough, you expect me to fold myself in half, 'til I snap

So whether you friend or you are foe (Woah) / Far as bars go, even fuckin' retards know (Yeah)

I'm like a head trip to listen to / 'Cause I'm only givin' you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room

Uh, yesterday my dog died, I hog tied a ho, tied her in a bow / Said, "Next time you blow up, try to spit a flow"

I got a couple of mansions / Still, I don't have any manners

Scrutinize every word, memorize every line / I spit it once, refuel, re-energize, and rewind

There's people that love me and people that hate me (Yup) / But it's the evil that made me

Gotta concentrate, against the clock I race / Got no time to waste, I'm already late, I got a marathoner's pace

It's 2002, everything was totally new / We were globally huge, watchin' sales go through the roof

(Bitch, I'ma kill you) like a murder weapon / I'ma conceal you in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows, and film you

Still on the loose, they / Spotted me inside McDonald's Tuesday

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em / But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em

Man, I don't see why they hate me (Huh?) / I'm a clown like John Wayne Gacy (What?)

I think someone messed with my meds probably (Yo, who took my—) / I bet it's my ex, Molly, that I've bludgeoned to death

Still stackin' my chips, hoes / Higher than Shaq on his tiptoes

Game ov' (Over), Thanos on you H-Os / On my petty shit, but I don't paint toes (Yeah)

Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance / I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans

I never would've dreamed in a million years I'd see / So many motherfuckin' people who feel like me

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me? / You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy

My sentences are harsh, every single's bar's like a verdict / I say it with conviction, but this time you're not gonna serve it

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me? / You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy

Half an Ativan, I'm drivin' straight at a van / In a black sedan, fast as I can

Call me crazy, but I have this vision, one day that / I'll walk amongst you a regular civilian

But for me to rap like a computer it must be in my genes / I got a laptop in my back pocket

Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin' / I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom

So 'til the E-N-D, since EPMD / Been givin' y'all the business (Yeah), D-R-E and me (Yup)

The enforcer, looking for more women to torture / Walk up to the cutest girl and charley-horse her

And d.a. got that dope he sends to me (Uh-huh) / It's like pneumonia symptoms and contracting COVID instantly

This always happens / Thirty minutes from home, gotta lay a log cabin

Sitting nude in my living room, it's almost noon / I wonder what's on the tube, maybe they'll show some boobs

Hailie, I know you miss your mom, and I know you miss your dad / When I'm gone, but I'm tryin' to give you the life that I never had

Haven't used all the tricks I have, so like my balls, it's in my bag / I tend to get a little testy when I'm mad

Look at these eyes, baby blue, baby just like yourself / If they were brown, Shady'd lose, Shady sits on the shelf

Way before my baby daughter Hailie / I was harassed daily by this fat kid named DeAngelo Bailey

I don't think she understands the sacrifices that I've made / Maybe if this bitch had acted right, I woulda stayed

Black boy, black boy, we ain't gonna lie to you / Black boy, black boy, we don't like the sight of you

So who's left? Lady Gaga? Mess with the Bieber? / Nah, F with Christina I ain't fuckin' with either, Jessica neither

Fuck blind people (What?), and deaf people suck (Stop, yeah) / So do cripples (No), dumb quadriplegic fucks

Heh, it's funny / I remember back one year when Daddy had no money

We're laying here with them, thinking 'bout us / 'Cause now when we get home, we get jealous

Before I get banned, kicked off Twitter / And TikTok 'cause they so damn ticked off, bitter

The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed / The baby came out, disfigured ligaments, indeed

It was never the same and it's bothered me since / And the farther we drift apart, the more awkward it gets

Let me explain just how to make greatness / Straight out the gate, I'm ’bout to break it down

Yeah, let your hair down to the track, yeah, kick on back (Boo!) / The boogie monster of rap, yeah, the man's back

It's true, I'm a Rubik's, a beautiful mess / At times juvenile, yes, I goof and I jest

Someone get this Aryan a sheet / Time to bury him, so tell him to prepare to get impeached

I've created a monster / 'Cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more

You're laying there with him, thinking 'bout me / He's asleep, you say, "Let's meet around three"

I don't do Jordans and Audemars / I do explosions and Molotovs

So you'll be Thor and I'll be Odin / You rodent, I'm omnipotent

Back when Mark Wahlberg was Marky Mark (Fuckin' faggot) / This is how we used to make the party start

Better hope an ambulance is en route / Paper's a hand grenade soon as I pull the pin out

There's no mountain I can't climb / There's no tower too high, no plane that I can't learn how to fly

Little hellions, kids feelin' rebellious / Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis

There's a place called Heaven and a place called Hell / A place called prison and a place called jail

Who can catch lightning in a bottle, set fire to water / Comin' out the nozzle on a fire hose, flyer than swatters?

People start to show up, time to start the show up / It's 10:05 PM and the curtain starts to go up

The buzz is tremendous, we drop you all to sense it / I don't gotta' promote it for you to know that Doc is off the benches

I sit back with this pack of Zig-Zags and this bag of this weed / It gives me the shit needed to be the most meanest MC on this—

Ahem, back by popular demand / Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can

And I'm talkin' to you / But you already know who the fuck you are, Kelly

You 'bout to witness hip-hop in its most purest / Most rawest form, flow almost flawless

They say music can alter moods and talk to you / Well, can it load a gun up for you and cock it too?

I'm in a strange place / I feel like Ma$e when he gave up the game for his faith

You're walkin' down a horror corridor / It's almost four in the mornin' and you're in a

I cut and I slash, slice and gash, last night was a blast / I can't quite remember when I had that

Yeah, my head up in the sky again (Woo) / But even that, my stacks are higher than

Started from the bottom like a snowman / Oh man, put that in your corncob pipe and smoke that

I'm so sick and tired of bein' admired that I wish that I would just die or get fired / And dropped from my label, let's stop with the fables

I wanted the fame but not the cover of Newsweek / Oh well, guess beggars can't be choosey

Yo, snappin' necks plus I'm live, in effect / I'm in the Slick Rick eye patch, but I got it from Hex

Now, I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean / And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine

Now, listen to me, while you're kissin' her cheek / And smearin' her lipstick, slip this in her drink

My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high (Shh) / Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five

I feel like I'm walkin' a tight rope without a circus net / Poppin' Percocet, I'm a nervous wreck

It's like I'm in the dirt, diggin' up old hurt / Tried everything to get my mind off you, it won't work

Back with Andre the Giant, Mr. Elephant Tusk / Fix your musk, you'll be just another one bit the dust

Back with Andre the Giant, Mr. Elephant Tusk / Fix your musk, you'll be just another one bit the dust

Dear Mr. I'm Too Good to Call or Write My Fans / This'll be the last package I ever send your ass

I'm cancerous, so when I diss, you wouldn't wanna answer this / If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus

'Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though / 'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow

I used to be the type of kid that would always think the sky's fallin' / Why am I so differently wired in my noggin?

I turned to rap 'cause it made me feel tough when I wasn't (Wasn't) / From the moment I heard rappers cussin', I was in (Was in)

Seems like the average lifespan of a white man / Is more than twice than a black life span

Yo / You might see me joggin', you might see me walkin'

Well, to be truthful the blueprint's / Simply rage and youthful exuberance

Yo / You might see me joggin', you might see me walkin'

It's my alter ego's fault / These evil thoughts could be so dark

I'm somewhat outlandish they say / You say we're cut from the same cloth

Nothin' moves me more than a groove that soothes me / Nothin' soothes me more than a groove that boosts me

He's comin' home with his neck scratched, to catch flack / Sweat jackets and dress slacks, mismatched

He's comin' home with his neck scratched, to catch flack / Sweat jackets and dress slacks, mismatched

I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I'll feel like Godzilla / Better hit the deck like the card dealer

Hi, kids, do you like violence? (Yeah, yeah, yeah) / Wanna see me stick nine-inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh)

Superman, Batman, Spider-Man / Slipped, fell, landed in a garbage can

Bitch, I can make "orange" rhyme with "banana" (Yeah) / Ornana

Knock knock, let the devil in / Manevolent as I've ever been, head is spinnin'

Just remember, I was here before you / And I'll be here after you make your run-in for you

Come on, get out! I can't! I'm scared / I said get out, bitch! Let go of my hair!

I also represent anyone on the receiving end of those jokes you offend / I'm the nightmare you fell asleep and then woke up still in

Time's up, game's over, you lose, I win / ’Bout to show these knuckleheads how to do this here

Bin Laden with a pen, bodyin' again / I begin slaughterin' your men, prolly shoulda been

A one-night stand turned a two-night stand / It was "come sunlight, scram," now we hug tight, and...

A one-night stand turned a two-night stand / It was "come sunlight, scram," now we hug tight, and...

Didn't wanna piss your base off, did ya? / Can't denounce the Klan, 'cause they play golf with ya

I'm tryin' to be low-key, hopefully nobody notices me / In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed

Never been the type to bend or budge / The wrong button to push, no friend of Bush

Black boy, black boy, we don't get your culture and / We don't care what our government's done to fuck you over, man

Alright, stop (Huh?) / Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store

I'm just a product of Slick Rick and Onyx, told 'em lick the balls / Had 'em just appalled, did so many things that pissed 'em off

See, the problem is, I speak to suburban kids / Who otherwise would've never knew these words exist

Fuck catchin' lightning, he struck it, screamed "Shut up!" at thunder / Then flipped the world upside down and made it rain upward

Bacardi and Hen', never thought the party would end / One minute you're bodyin' shit, but then your audience splits

Sometimes I just feel like my father, I hate to be bothered / With all of this nonsense, it's constant

I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who what I said hurt / In what verse my mom probably got it the worst

Been in survival mode / Since a five year old, it was I alone

I've been drivin' around your side of this town / Like nine frickin' hours and forty-five minutes now

Alright, calm down, relax, start breathin' / Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin'

My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise / At the same time, can make you dry your eyes

Let me self-empower you / When you're down and they're tryna clown the fuck out of you

So you sold ten million albums, eh? (What?) / Only problem is, you put out ten million albums, eh? (Haha, wait)

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole / When we heard a knock at the door, must've been Ron Gold

Quick, gotta move fast, gotta perform miracles / Gee willikers, Dre, holy bat syllables!

I'm alive again / More alive than I have been in my whole entire life, I can (Yeah)

Man, I know sometimes / These thoughts can be harsh and cold as ice

Well, look what the stork brung (What?) / Little baby devil with the forked tongue (Ah)

Got a fuckin’ mouth with no shut-off valve / Can't even cut off power to it, but it's what allowed

They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that / Don't know what the fuck I'd be doin' if it weren't rap

Oh yeah, and one more thing I want to mention (What?) / Is you're one dimension

Now this is the part where the rap breaks down / It gets real intense, no one makes a sound

Imagine it pourin', just rainin' down on us / Moshpits outside the Oval Office

It's just like old times, the Dynamic Duo / Two old friends, why panic? You already know

Okay, quit playin' with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap / I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in a rhythm for you to know it's a wrap

And to think I used to think you was the shit, bitch / To think it was you at one time I worshipped? Shit

I used to be the type of kid / That would always think the sky is fallin'

Stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away (Get him) / Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate

Unstoppable, unpoppable thought bubbles / Untoppable thoughts, fuckin' juggernaut that'll

Why are expectations so high? / Is it the bar I set? My arms, I stretch, but I can’t reach

These are the results of a thousand electric volts / A neck with bolts

They said my last album I sounded bitter / No, I sound like a spitter

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me / Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you

A tisket, a tasket, I'll go tit-for-tat wit' / Anybody who's talkin', "This shit, that shit"

Don't get me wrong, I love these hoes / It's no secret, everybody knows